Trying It Out Before You Buy.

credit: someecards.com

I always loved this saying since I was a child, obviously before I knew the actual meaning of the phrase.

“Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free?”

The negative connotation behind this phrase makes me mad. Why is sampling the product before you make an investment such a terrible thing? You don’t get heat for test driving a car before you take it out of the lot, right? So why give me grief if I want to see how the chemistry before I want to get to know him at all? One thing I hate more than anything is wasting my time because time is something I find precious. Another reason? If I wait too long to see what’s going on under the hood, I might miss the window for the return policy and I don’t want an even exchange.

Sure, I tend to hook up far more frequently now I’m in my late 20s than I did when I was in college but I’m trying to get a feeler on what’s out there. The curiosity factor comes into play; you’re wondering how that person is in bed. People have personas that make them seem one type of way but behind closed doors, it’s like the Jekyll/Hyde effect. There has to be something about the effect that alcohol has on an individual because for some reason, I always have to do the dip as soon as the deed is done. I usually have no problem doing the walk of shame but at the same time, it would be better if it was actually worth it.

A potential pitfall about this method is that you find that one amazing hook up and come to realize that it was a one time deal. It has happened a few times in the past and it’s a fucking shame because it’s a tease. It’s like, you try an amazing piece of cake and come to find out that the sole baker of that cake moves away, thus you not having that cake again for the rest of your days. It’s a terrible way to live, right? I mean, not that terrible but if you want that cake again, you’re shit out of luck.

So don’t ever feel ashamed about testing out the waters before jumping in. You don’t want to dive in and getting hurt because you didn’t realize it was a shallow end.

 

Tootles Bitches,

Melissa

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