New Year, Old Me.

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It’s that time of year where every single person in your life is going to attempt to live by the mantra, “New Year, New Me.” Why should anyone wait until January 1st of a new year to change themselves as a person. More importantly, why change period? For me, 2015 would probably more of a regression than a progression in certain aspects of my life. You’re probably screaming profanities at your screen because people should move forward and not backwards. To a degree, I do agree with you but when it comes to personal relationships, taking a few notes from the past could be beneficial.

The Holidays Season is the time of year where people have a minor crisis because when they log into any social media platform, they cringe when they see engagement and pregnancy announcements. Instead of enjoying the freedom they have, they want to squander it all by forcing a monogamous relationship that did not develop organically. Take a minute and truly reflect on what is going on in your life before you drag someone in your hot mess. Personally, I’m too much of a catastrophe to let anyone else in and I’m completely content with that. Remember, do you boo boo but at the same time, don’t completely re-mold your life in order to confide in what people would consider social norms and shack yourself in a relationship. Desperation is and will never be a cute look. Ever.

So in honor of reverting back to a younger me, I’m going to revisit my life circa 2009. This was a time in my life were I was slowly losing whatever shame I had in my life at age 23. Granted, I’m a little more financial stable now than I was at the time, I loved my mind set then. Being all about partying and just enjoying the company of various guys allowed me to never be in a state of routine. Now that I’m fully aware that the concept of a monogamous relationship disgusts me and not a possibility, let me enjoy the end of my twenties the way I want, as a single broke hot mess.

 

Whelp.

I think I made a resolution.

 

Oh Well. Later

Trying It Out Before You Buy.

credit: someecards.com

I always loved this saying since I was a child, obviously before I knew the actual meaning of the phrase.

“Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free?”

The negative connotation behind this phrase makes me mad. Why is sampling the product before you make an investment such a terrible thing? You don’t get heat for test driving a car before you take it out of the lot, right? So why give me grief if I want to see how the chemistry before I want to get to know him at all? One thing I hate more than anything is wasting my time because time is something I find precious. Another reason? If I wait too long to see what’s going on under the hood, I might miss the window for the return policy and I don’t want an even exchange.

Sure, I tend to hook up far more frequently now I’m in my late 20s than I did when I was in college but I’m trying to get a feeler on what’s out there. The curiosity factor comes into play; you’re wondering how that person is in bed. People have personas that make them seem one type of way but behind closed doors, it’s like the Jekyll/Hyde effect. There has to be something about the effect that alcohol has on an individual because for some reason, I always have to do the dip as soon as the deed is done. I usually have no problem doing the walk of shame but at the same time, it would be better if it was actually worth it.

A potential pitfall about this method is that you find that one amazing hook up and come to realize that it was a one time deal. It has happened a few times in the past and it’s a fucking shame because it’s a tease. It’s like, you try an amazing piece of cake and come to find out that the sole baker of that cake moves away, thus you not having that cake again for the rest of your days. It’s a terrible way to live, right? I mean, not that terrible but if you want that cake again, you’re shit out of luck.

So don’t ever feel ashamed about testing out the waters before jumping in. You don’t want to dive in and getting hurt because you didn’t realize it was a shallow end.

 

Tootles Bitches,

Melissa