Ain’t Nobody Got Time for That.

Ah, yes. Recently, I’ve been getting asked that infuriating question as I approach the big 2-8. It would get paraphrased in ways such as ‘Shouldn’t you settle down already?’, ‘You’re getting too old for one-night stands’, or my personal favorite, ‘You can’t really afford to be picky with guys at your old age’.

Let’s go back in time shall we?

Since the beginning of this millenium, I was not single. Yes, I was that person that was in relationship after relationship until I was 26. That’s more than a decade of not being single and always having a guy breathing down my neck. I will admit that I had daddy issues growing up in a sense that I felt the need of validation from a man to feel complete. There was a time in my life that being in a relationship, good or bad, was the key to my happiness. Now? Not so much.

10 boyfriends, 2 fiances and thousands of tears dropped, I feel like I’m truly living. I mean, there were breaks in between relationships while in college where I did have a friend or two but nothing to the degree that I am experiencing right now. To truly be free to do what I want and not giving any fucks is the most liberating sensation I have ever felt. Example? When I was with my first fiance from 17-20, I couldn’t even go to a dorm party that was down the hall. Now that I can do what I want, going out on a Tuesday night and pounding $1 bud lights then making out with a hot guy is what I do on a weekly basis.

I’m not saying that I wouldn’t be accepting of meeting an amazing guy and falling in love. What the point is, that is I’m not looking vigorously for it. There is nothing that can tell me that being single when I’m closer to 30 than 20 is wrong or shameful. Every person works on their own time frame and there needs to be an understanding of that. Yes, I like being single and having fun because I didn’t get to truly experience it before turning 25. You could  say I’m playing catch up but then again, who asked for your opinion bro?

Before you shun that really great friend of yours for not getting married, put yourself in their shoes. They’re saving a shit ton of money from not planning a wedding or feeding a miniature human life form so if they want to go to Bali or Madrid on a whim, they could. They are the jet-setters, the social butterflies and the risk takers. Living life the best way possible and on their own terms. If I have a bad time taking care of myself with a hangover after a night of binge-drinking with 22 year olds, how could I possibly take care of a tiny life form. Clearly, your expectations of me are unrealistic.

Now, if you don’t mind, I might go galavanting and drink some cheap brews because I can do whatever the fuck I want.

Too-la-loo fuckers,

Melissa.

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