Caught in Saran Wrap.

credit to themorningnews.org

I was on a mission to have some serious fun this past summer. Meaning? I often tend to get myself in situations of one night stands. One thing I always forget to mentally prepare myself for is the inevitable stage-5 clinger. Why isn’t there a world wide memo for all of the single people in the world. There should be a handbook on how to tactfully handle a one night stand or a weekend of fun without coming off as a psycho stalker.

There has been a HUGE misconception that women are generally the one’s that attached to someone after having a moment of hot sweaty bliss. In reality, men are starting to react in that behavior. As a woman on the prowl, I come in with the expectation of no strings. Instead, I get clung on to like a dog in heat, humping on your leg. I mean, granted, the 7 shots of Jameson REALLY did me in. What do you expect? I’m at the Jersey Shore at a club, of course I was going to get free shots all night. But I digress. What had blown my mind was the amount of attention he was demanding post-coitus. Nothing is more annoying that a string of questions that would make someone come off as extremely needy. Why does it matter if this was a one time deal or if I liked you? You got what you wanted out of the night, so don’t make it more than what it was.

What it really boils down to is, Summer means no strings. Unless the person you plan on hooking up with it makes it common knowledge that they’re looking for something more, don’t make it more than what it is. I honestly thought the kid was cool to hang with before we got naked. Now? Not so much. Such a shame too because now when we are in the same room, shit gets hella awkward. Well in my defense, he makes it awkward for me and everyone else.  Remember folks, Saran Wrap is quite difficult to remove.

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