It’s Really Me and Not You.

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When having to pull the plug on a current situation you’re in, whether it’s a relationship or a booty call, using the right words is key. Having a strategy in the conversation the two of you will have has to be done precisely. The last thing people want to hear is an overused cliché. What if the cliché actually fit the situation? Then folks, by all means, USE THE DAMN CORNY LINE!

I really like to think from time to time, my outer shell is made out of titanium (cue David Guetta’s masterpiece). I have a sixth sense when it comes to dumping a guy before they realize they need to make any sort of move. Honestly, this is the greatest gift anyone can have because it potentially saves you any messy interactions. I am, not by any means, suggestion people to practice this method because I refuse to be held responsible for split ups.

Commitment? Scares me shitless. Let me be honest with you for a minute, well it depends on how fast you read this anyways. I’ve developed a male’s perspective of dating over the past 7 years of being “technically” single. I will divulge on technicalities in a future post. Believe it or not, I used to be all about getting married before being able to legally buy a bottle of Jameson. Someone smacked sense into me and luckily for you, I’m young, wild and free.

Anyways, I got off topic for a second and I apologize. I wholeheartedly live my life behind the phrase ‘it’s not you, it’s me’. I mean, it’s not your fault I don’t want a committed relationship from you, or is it? 9 out of 10 times, I’ll be honest with myself and really mean that’ it’s me who is looking for that scapegoat. That 1? I’ll save all of that juicy information for a drunk, emotional, heart-to-heart post that would probably come out just in time for Singles Awareness Day, whoops, I mean Valentine’s Day.

If you happen to be one of the unfortunate bastards that date me and get this told to you when my dating A.D.D. kicks in, fear not! I truly mean it with all of my heart, well what’s left of it anyways.

 

Catch you on the flip. xoxo Melissa

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Being Single Ain’t Easy.

Don’t get me wrong, I love being single. The thought of being able to stay out until 4 am, drinking and hanging with friends without hearing someone complain about it is quite amazing. With people shacking up faster than the speed of light scares me a little. I mean, who would have thought 26, going on 27 would seem old in the settling down department? Not me, that’s for sure.

Pictures of keg stands and statuses about being hungover are being replaced with friends changing their relationship status to engaged or married. Let’s clear up one thing, I’m not bitter or resentful towards them. Everyone finds their zone of happiness at different points of their life and I haven’t found mine yet.

The journey starts here. Sure, I have a double Bachelor’s degree in English and Music but it doesn’t pay the bills quite yet. I love my retail job because honestly, they treat me the way I deserve to be, with respect. As I sip on my PBR tallboy (for those in the dark, a tallboy beer is a 16oz can) before $1 beer night, I reflect on my awesome single life. I mean, not having a stable relationship in the last 4 years isn’t a bad thing, right? I love to date around and testing the waters. I mean, why buy something without trying it on right?

Folks, that’s my mantra for love and I’m sticking to it.